Only a few weeks ago, the UK's Chief of Pathetic Quick Fixes (AKA The Prime Minister) told us that we, the tax payer, had got an amazingly good deal that would make us ooodles of cash for years to come, by the fact that he, Brown, had given the banks £60 BILLION of OUR money to help them out. But, being so wonderfully clever as he is, he had forced the banks to accept the money with many conditions, the main ones being that the money was guaranteed to make a profit in the future for the tax-payer, and that the banks wouldn't really take the money anyway, seeing as how they are such nice guys and the international banking system is so benevolent.
A few days ago he told us how he was dealing with an escalating international crises (none of it his fault, of course) by giving the banks ANOTHER £200 BILLION of OUR money.
It seems that the first payment wasn't enough and has already been lost. That's the money that they were not really going to take, remember?
But the new give-away has had a few extra clauses added to it. The main ones being (in the interests of International Trade, by which they mean bailing out the banks and their hangers-on) that the 'onerous' clauses of the first give-away have been removed. So now the banks don't have to repay the money, what they do re-pay is at considerably lower interest rates, the government loses even its notional control over what the banks do with the money, and all pretense that they won't simply put it into their own vaults has been removed.
Way to go Gordon! The economy is safe in your sane hands!
Tuesday, 27 January 2009
MORE LEWES HUMOUR
More laughs at the expense of poor old Lewes.
Beaten by Mansfield (and a nice little winning bet on the visitors for Yours Truly), and, even better, getting dumped out of the FA Trophy non Blue Square South non-achievers Havant & Waterlooville. How long since a Lewes win in anything, anywhere? Not even sure it is in living memory...
With any luck, another defeat for the shame of Sussex, as Torquay will, no doubt, return with all three points from tonight's match.
Borough, meanwhile, chalk up another win, 2-1 at home to York City this time, to lift themselves into 11th place and the faint whiff of the play-offs can now be smelt.
Beaten by Mansfield (and a nice little winning bet on the visitors for Yours Truly), and, even better, getting dumped out of the FA Trophy non Blue Square South non-achievers Havant & Waterlooville. How long since a Lewes win in anything, anywhere? Not even sure it is in living memory...
With any luck, another defeat for the shame of Sussex, as Torquay will, no doubt, return with all three points from tonight's match.
Borough, meanwhile, chalk up another win, 2-1 at home to York City this time, to lift themselves into 11th place and the faint whiff of the play-offs can now be smelt.
Tuesday, 20 January 2009
GOD BLESS PRINCE HARRY!
Well, I'm nopt a royalist by any means, but I do feel compelled to support Prince Harry, who has suddenly become the Guardian-reading classes number one hate figure this week. Why? Because, several years ago, he called a fellow officer 'our Paki', a person he was friends with and used the description in a joking, friendly way. Exactly the same as referring to a friend as being a 'fat friend', 'skinny friend', even a 'trekkie friend' if you are so desperate for friends that you'll even consider a Star Trek fan as a possible candidate.
But the word 'paki' makes this a cause celebre amongst the Islington set. Everyone must, they feel, love every Muslim, gay and ethnic minority, regardless of anything they may do, or else they are considered to be goose-stepping their way to the the death camps with a smile on their faces.
Prince Harry has now been classed as either evil (a racist) or an idiot (for using the 'P' word).
In fact, he is neither of these things. He has, out of choice and conviction, worked voluntarily for third world charities, spending a lot of time in Africa. His father is a closet Muslim, near as makes no odds - certainly a quite pathetic liberal trendy aged hippy, and his son has most of his cultural values.
What Harry is is a normal(ish) person, as close to normal as a royal can get. He likes a laugh and makes comments without working out if it is possible, no matter how unlikely, that someone can twist it into a potential insult to somebody, somewhere - unless you're insulting white, able-bodied, heterosexual Christians, in which case it is perfectly ok to do so.
Ian Smith was evil because he ran a multi-cultural country, Rhodesia, with whites mainly in charge. All people were protected under the law, and the country was a great success, despite a decade-long embargo on most essential imports.
Robert Mugabe was a hero, because he was black. Now he is considered a fool, but we must continue to trade with him, and any insult to him must be avoided. Afterall, he's only ruined the country, practised genocide against the whites, broken every law and so forth. Maybe he desrerves a slap on the wrists, but nothing more.
The same can be said in South Africa, of De Klerk and Mandela - but nobody can insult Mandela, the Man-God, despite his rule destroying South Africa, leading to a total break-down of law & order, poverty, corruption, trade with terrorists and wide-scale slaughter of whites, especially in rural areas. Several thousand have been butchered in racist attacks, with not even a word of sympathy.
The Islington set, sitting in their five-million-pound homes and making sure that they never, never, mention the fact that their cleaners and gardeners are all ethnic minority representatives (unless to boast about how wonderful and cosmopolitan they are), are the true evil racists, even though they probably can't see it through the cannabis haze of the latest soiree they have attended.
Want the UK to be a more united country? Stop pussy-footing around these liberal PC tyrants and tell more racist jokes - most the best ones I've heard have been from blacks and, yes, Pakis. Laugh at people, let them laugh at us, don't be terrified of offending someone, as, no matter what you say, you will offend somebody, somewhere.
But the word 'paki' makes this a cause celebre amongst the Islington set. Everyone must, they feel, love every Muslim, gay and ethnic minority, regardless of anything they may do, or else they are considered to be goose-stepping their way to the the death camps with a smile on their faces.
Prince Harry has now been classed as either evil (a racist) or an idiot (for using the 'P' word).
In fact, he is neither of these things. He has, out of choice and conviction, worked voluntarily for third world charities, spending a lot of time in Africa. His father is a closet Muslim, near as makes no odds - certainly a quite pathetic liberal trendy aged hippy, and his son has most of his cultural values.
What Harry is is a normal(ish) person, as close to normal as a royal can get. He likes a laugh and makes comments without working out if it is possible, no matter how unlikely, that someone can twist it into a potential insult to somebody, somewhere - unless you're insulting white, able-bodied, heterosexual Christians, in which case it is perfectly ok to do so.
Ian Smith was evil because he ran a multi-cultural country, Rhodesia, with whites mainly in charge. All people were protected under the law, and the country was a great success, despite a decade-long embargo on most essential imports.
Robert Mugabe was a hero, because he was black. Now he is considered a fool, but we must continue to trade with him, and any insult to him must be avoided. Afterall, he's only ruined the country, practised genocide against the whites, broken every law and so forth. Maybe he desrerves a slap on the wrists, but nothing more.
The same can be said in South Africa, of De Klerk and Mandela - but nobody can insult Mandela, the Man-God, despite his rule destroying South Africa, leading to a total break-down of law & order, poverty, corruption, trade with terrorists and wide-scale slaughter of whites, especially in rural areas. Several thousand have been butchered in racist attacks, with not even a word of sympathy.
The Islington set, sitting in their five-million-pound homes and making sure that they never, never, mention the fact that their cleaners and gardeners are all ethnic minority representatives (unless to boast about how wonderful and cosmopolitan they are), are the true evil racists, even though they probably can't see it through the cannabis haze of the latest soiree they have attended.
Want the UK to be a more united country? Stop pussy-footing around these liberal PC tyrants and tell more racist jokes - most the best ones I've heard have been from blacks and, yes, Pakis. Laugh at people, let them laugh at us, don't be terrified of offending someone, as, no matter what you say, you will offend somebody, somewhere.
BETS FOR TODAY
I've joined the Hattrick Betting Federation, and been putting my tips up there - three tips, three wins, so far!
But today Hattrick is down as the server is some sort of depressed drunken Scandinavian, so I'll put them here, just so that I know they have been put somewhere!
DAGENHAM & REDBRIDGE to beat Exeter (20/21 with ExtraBet, 10/11 most others)
OXFORD to beat Forest Green (4/6 with most bookies - I've gone with Bet365)
Peterboro v MK Dons - over 2.5 goals (7/10 with Bet365)
Happy betting!
But today Hattrick is down as the server is some sort of depressed drunken Scandinavian, so I'll put them here, just so that I know they have been put somewhere!
DAGENHAM & REDBRIDGE to beat Exeter (20/21 with ExtraBet, 10/11 most others)
OXFORD to beat Forest Green (4/6 with most bookies - I've gone with Bet365)
Peterboro v MK Dons - over 2.5 goals (7/10 with Bet365)
Happy betting!
Sunday, 18 January 2009
MORE LEWES FUN
Just a really quick post, then later I'll write something about the Royal family.
Lewes lost 3-0 at York yesterday - even Lewes fans on their forum are saying that they were lucky to get the nought! This just never gets old!
Borough, on the other hand, came from behind to beat Forest Green 2-1 away. The non-league papers are even talking about this win boosting our play-offs hopes! Some hope, ten points off the play-offs, a terrible GD and played more games than most teams above us.
My two bets today both came in - both with William Hill: Malaga beat Espanyol (21/10) and Real Madrid beat Osasuna (2/7).
Lewes lost 3-0 at York yesterday - even Lewes fans on their forum are saying that they were lucky to get the nought! This just never gets old!
Borough, on the other hand, came from behind to beat Forest Green 2-1 away. The non-league papers are even talking about this win boosting our play-offs hopes! Some hope, ten points off the play-offs, a terrible GD and played more games than most teams above us.
My two bets today both came in - both with William Hill: Malaga beat Espanyol (21/10) and Real Madrid beat Osasuna (2/7).
Saturday, 17 January 2009
CASTLE VILLAGE - END OF SEASON REVIEW
Well, Castle Village took over the struggling Dover Athletic (well, mid-table and going nowhere Dover Athletic) in mid season, and immediately started ringing the changes.
End of the season, and the series VII.730 title trophy is proudly displayed on the trophy shelf, new signing Donato Meza has won the series top scorer award, and we look forward to life in the new, higher level in series VI.207. And the ground extension plans are coming to fruitition as well, giving the club access to higher gate revenues.
The behind-the-scenes work is gaining pace as well, with a fantastic Youth Squad, a highly effective coaching and training scheme in place, and medical, publicity and financial services all progressing to plan.
On the down side, we have landed in very nearly the toughest of all the 1024 series VI divisions! A league that will require a tactical genius to survive in, with our very limited budget - we are by far the poorest team in the series, the least experienced and the lowest chances of gaining the needed extra revenue.
What they have got is me. Ho hum, no chance of back-to-back promotions then!
Wish us luck, I am just praying that we won't become the Lewes of series VI!
End of the season, and the series VII.730 title trophy is proudly displayed on the trophy shelf, new signing Donato Meza has won the series top scorer award, and we look forward to life in the new, higher level in series VI.207. And the ground extension plans are coming to fruitition as well, giving the club access to higher gate revenues.
The behind-the-scenes work is gaining pace as well, with a fantastic Youth Squad, a highly effective coaching and training scheme in place, and medical, publicity and financial services all progressing to plan.
On the down side, we have landed in very nearly the toughest of all the 1024 series VI divisions! A league that will require a tactical genius to survive in, with our very limited budget - we are by far the poorest team in the series, the least experienced and the lowest chances of gaining the needed extra revenue.
What they have got is me. Ho hum, no chance of back-to-back promotions then!
Wish us luck, I am just praying that we won't become the Lewes of series VI!
MORE LEWES HUMOUR
OK, before I write anything sensible, first let's all laugh at Lewes (again)!
And praise the mighty Eastbourne Borough!
First, Eastbourne. Quarter Finals of the Sussex Senior Cup (the top trophy for Sussex teams) and Borough are at home to Crowborough Athletic - what should be a fairly risk-free game for Boro', as CA are threedivisions below them and not doing very well. Day before the game, due to financial problems, the manager and his assistant were sacked, and six first team players walked out. Any chance CA had, barring a miracle, was gone.
No miracles on the night - enough to say Eastbourne won 11-1, and the score did not flater them. If anything, it flattered Crowborough! Fair play, their 16 year old keeper didn't play badly at all, at a few of their players (shirts 4,9 and 11 especially) looked better than half-decent players, and the whole team, even when down by double figures, kept playing football, kept attacking and did not resort to fouls, cheating or give in to despair. But Borough were on song, and even a full strength CA side would have been badly mauled. As it was, Boro notched up a record winning margin for the club at senior level football, and a great day out was had by all.
Lewes were playing the same night in the FA Trophy, against a team from one division below, Lewes at home, and their visitors' being, at best, in rather indifferent form. Result? Well, Lewes were 3-1 up with ten minutes to play! A miracle of Biblical proportions indeed! Final score 3-3, Lewes have a reply at Histon (bye bye Lewes, the dream is dead for another year) and, best of all, the two late goals came from players Lewes sold in the close season! O, how one giggles whenever Lewes are mentioned. The words 'Lewes' and 'managerial ability' are rarely used in the same sentance, and when they are, the words 'lack of' are normally present as well!
And praise the mighty Eastbourne Borough!
First, Eastbourne. Quarter Finals of the Sussex Senior Cup (the top trophy for Sussex teams) and Borough are at home to Crowborough Athletic - what should be a fairly risk-free game for Boro', as CA are threedivisions below them and not doing very well. Day before the game, due to financial problems, the manager and his assistant were sacked, and six first team players walked out. Any chance CA had, barring a miracle, was gone.
No miracles on the night - enough to say Eastbourne won 11-1, and the score did not flater them. If anything, it flattered Crowborough! Fair play, their 16 year old keeper didn't play badly at all, at a few of their players (shirts 4,9 and 11 especially) looked better than half-decent players, and the whole team, even when down by double figures, kept playing football, kept attacking and did not resort to fouls, cheating or give in to despair. But Borough were on song, and even a full strength CA side would have been badly mauled. As it was, Boro notched up a record winning margin for the club at senior level football, and a great day out was had by all.
Lewes were playing the same night in the FA Trophy, against a team from one division below, Lewes at home, and their visitors' being, at best, in rather indifferent form. Result? Well, Lewes were 3-1 up with ten minutes to play! A miracle of Biblical proportions indeed! Final score 3-3, Lewes have a reply at Histon (bye bye Lewes, the dream is dead for another year) and, best of all, the two late goals came from players Lewes sold in the close season! O, how one giggles whenever Lewes are mentioned. The words 'Lewes' and 'managerial ability' are rarely used in the same sentance, and when they are, the words 'lack of' are normally present as well!
Tuesday, 13 January 2009
STILL LAUGHING
In the next few days a few serious posts will be added, but for the minute, let's continue to laugh at Lewes (it's so easy to do as well, liking shooting fish in a barrel!).
New Year's Day. Lewes host the mighty Eastbourne Borough at their rather sad excuse for a ground, the Bed Pan. Actually, I'll be fair, it is quite a nice little ground, probably will be one of the best in the Ryman South in a few years time. Just far from suitable for a decent football club. Which doesn't really matter, as Lewes are far from being a decent football club.
Anyway, before the game, let's look at how Lewes works off-field. Well, simply put, it doesn't. Things have improved considerably from last year - at least this time they remembered to print programs! And they opened the bars and tea points. Simple things, but ones which they forgot to do last season.
So, full marks so far. Some of the tea points were serving tea, some were not. A bit odd, but we'll let it go. At least the turnstiles were open this year (I know, you would think that a football club would remember to open the turnstiles for their biggest gate of the season. Last year, someone forgot to do just that!). Somewhere before half time a friend went to one of the tea points that was serving tea and asked for (you can probably see where this is going) a cup of tea. No problem they said, but would you like it warm? Strange question. But not for Lewes. They were happy to serve tea, but had run out of hot water and were unable to get any more, it apparantly being on ration in Lewes, or something. Unless you take your tea with cold water, it had to be micro-waved! O the joy of visiting a well-run club!
And a quick mention for the crowd. There must have been some Lewes fans there, it was their ground after all, but they were well out-numbered by the Boro fans, and the Lewes fans kept very quiet throughout. Well, 100% silent, in fact.
The game? Not quite as poor as at Boro, but still pretty dire. Lewes had learnt from their 1-0 defeat the week before, and on several occassions passed the ball forward. Never once to a Lewes player, but it showed the right attitude.
Borough played badly, the first 30 minutes didn't have a single shot on target, but the last ten-fifteen minutes of the first half were dominated by Boro, who were very unlucky not to have got a goal or three. HT 0-0.
Second half was as bad as the first. Neither team did much - a lot of the blame must be laid on the state of the pitch, which had been maintained to the very highest standards - if you wanted to graze donkeys on it, which is what Lewes do every other weekend.
After 20 minutes, and me getting worried that my £25 bet on Borough to win (11/8 with Bet365, great value odds I thought) was going down the pan, Boro brought on our fast,m talented but very unpredictable winger, Nathan Crabb, while Boro prepared for a free kick deep in our own half. The free kick was taken as Nathan came on, he had to run to chase the ball, got it, went round three Lewes defenders, looked like he was going to shoot, Lewes GK committed himself, Nathan calmly tapped it sideways to the oncoming Dan Smith, powerful shot, one-nil Borough and a great first touch for Nathan.
Borough now dominated the game, a re-run of the previous week, Lewes looking panicked and pulling everyone back to defend their 1-0 disadvantage, and the game started to peter out as Borough seemed happy with the 1-0 scoreline and the three points, thank you very much. Several half-chances a few fantastic moves that cut Lewes apart, but no real finishing.
10 minutes to go, and the unthinkable happened! Lewes started to play football! They attacked! They were, I have to admit, the better side and getting better all the time! My bet started to look dodgy again.
Things were not helped by a referee who couldn't tell the time. By my watch, 4 minutes added time had been played, and no whistle. Then an announcement. A minimum of three minutes was to be added! For what? There had been no stoppages! I was getting worried that Lewes may sneak a last-minute equaliser - Boro were defending desperately, and showing no real inclination to attack.
Then, with perhaps 30 seconds to play, a Lewes player, near the Borough penalty area, slipped on their crap surface, and lost the ball to that man Nathan Crabb. Ball sent wide, Borough attack on the break, balled crossed over, Nathan Crabb there to volley the ball straight through the legs of the advancing keeper! 2-0, final whistle, and bye-bye Lewes, been nice knowing you, next season's big derby will be with Bognor Regis, if you are lucky!
New Year's Day. Lewes host the mighty Eastbourne Borough at their rather sad excuse for a ground, the Bed Pan. Actually, I'll be fair, it is quite a nice little ground, probably will be one of the best in the Ryman South in a few years time. Just far from suitable for a decent football club. Which doesn't really matter, as Lewes are far from being a decent football club.
Anyway, before the game, let's look at how Lewes works off-field. Well, simply put, it doesn't. Things have improved considerably from last year - at least this time they remembered to print programs! And they opened the bars and tea points. Simple things, but ones which they forgot to do last season.
So, full marks so far. Some of the tea points were serving tea, some were not. A bit odd, but we'll let it go. At least the turnstiles were open this year (I know, you would think that a football club would remember to open the turnstiles for their biggest gate of the season. Last year, someone forgot to do just that!). Somewhere before half time a friend went to one of the tea points that was serving tea and asked for (you can probably see where this is going) a cup of tea. No problem they said, but would you like it warm? Strange question. But not for Lewes. They were happy to serve tea, but had run out of hot water and were unable to get any more, it apparantly being on ration in Lewes, or something. Unless you take your tea with cold water, it had to be micro-waved! O the joy of visiting a well-run club!
And a quick mention for the crowd. There must have been some Lewes fans there, it was their ground after all, but they were well out-numbered by the Boro fans, and the Lewes fans kept very quiet throughout. Well, 100% silent, in fact.
The game? Not quite as poor as at Boro, but still pretty dire. Lewes had learnt from their 1-0 defeat the week before, and on several occassions passed the ball forward. Never once to a Lewes player, but it showed the right attitude.
Borough played badly, the first 30 minutes didn't have a single shot on target, but the last ten-fifteen minutes of the first half were dominated by Boro, who were very unlucky not to have got a goal or three. HT 0-0.
Second half was as bad as the first. Neither team did much - a lot of the blame must be laid on the state of the pitch, which had been maintained to the very highest standards - if you wanted to graze donkeys on it, which is what Lewes do every other weekend.
After 20 minutes, and me getting worried that my £25 bet on Borough to win (11/8 with Bet365, great value odds I thought) was going down the pan, Boro brought on our fast,m talented but very unpredictable winger, Nathan Crabb, while Boro prepared for a free kick deep in our own half. The free kick was taken as Nathan came on, he had to run to chase the ball, got it, went round three Lewes defenders, looked like he was going to shoot, Lewes GK committed himself, Nathan calmly tapped it sideways to the oncoming Dan Smith, powerful shot, one-nil Borough and a great first touch for Nathan.
Borough now dominated the game, a re-run of the previous week, Lewes looking panicked and pulling everyone back to defend their 1-0 disadvantage, and the game started to peter out as Borough seemed happy with the 1-0 scoreline and the three points, thank you very much. Several half-chances a few fantastic moves that cut Lewes apart, but no real finishing.
10 minutes to go, and the unthinkable happened! Lewes started to play football! They attacked! They were, I have to admit, the better side and getting better all the time! My bet started to look dodgy again.
Things were not helped by a referee who couldn't tell the time. By my watch, 4 minutes added time had been played, and no whistle. Then an announcement. A minimum of three minutes was to be added! For what? There had been no stoppages! I was getting worried that Lewes may sneak a last-minute equaliser - Boro were defending desperately, and showing no real inclination to attack.
Then, with perhaps 30 seconds to play, a Lewes player, near the Borough penalty area, slipped on their crap surface, and lost the ball to that man Nathan Crabb. Ball sent wide, Borough attack on the break, balled crossed over, Nathan Crabb there to volley the ball straight through the legs of the advancing keeper! 2-0, final whistle, and bye-bye Lewes, been nice knowing you, next season's big derby will be with Bognor Regis, if you are lucky!
Sunday, 11 January 2009
Been away - back now
Been unable to post for a few weeks, due to a dead computer and having to use public PC's to get online. I now have a super-duper quad core PC that goes like shit off a shovel, and hopefully is here to stay. Best of all, I've loaded Windows XP onto it, so I don't have to use that bloody awful Vista nonsense!
Anyway, back to the matters in hand. While I have been away there have been many and varied reasons to laugh at Lewes, and I've taken advantage of them all!
Boxing Day - Lewes visit Eastbourne Borough, claiming to be full of hope due to their improvement in form. Now, this improvement is a relative thing, translated it means they have managed to steal a couple of points from teams that are doomed to relegation, and have beaten clubs from lower divisions in cup matches. So how did their confidence pan out? They were fortunate in meeting a Borough side that played like they were badly hung-over and really didn't want to be there. The best that can be said about Borough was that they looked, for large periods of the game, like a Ryman League South team,and not a very good one at that.
Fortunately, the new, improved Lewes looked like a pub second-choice Sunday league side, and the game ended up 1-0 to Eastbourne. That goal is really all that is worth talking about in a really dire game. that and the fact that Lewes decided that, one down in a local derby against a very, very poor Eastbourne side, they would use the brilliant tactics of pulling every single player back, waste time whenever possible, and use four players as cebtral defenders, a couple of defensive wing backs, and everyone else run around like headless chickens trying to chase the ball, and keep behind it.
This was a game that Eastbourne did not deserve to win, quite frankly; however, Lewes were so bad that they certainly deserved to lose - in fact, from about the third minute of the game, it looked inevitable.
The only other thing of note to emerge from the game was the Lewes' fans reaction after the game was over. They were complaining, as per normal and as their old guru Steve King taught them so well, that they were the better team, they had been robbed, it was all the referee's fault and so on, but even funnier, how they would not allow the kind of people who follow Eastbourne into the Bed Pan on New Year's Day for the return fixture. It seems the population of Eastbourne is too rough for the poor sweet souls of lewes. Why?
Well, they think that it was 'unfair' and 'unacceptable' that Boro fans sang 'Aministration! Administration!' at them, and 'Where's Your Money Gone?' (to the tune of 'Last Night I Heard My Momma Singing A Song'). Well, Lewes ARE going into administration, after five years of out-spending everyone in the Blue Square South and getting very little return for a massive investment (Lewes call this 'brilliant management') - this season the club has been forced to stop spending wildly, or face the personal bankruptcy of their directors. And nobody else is willing to invest in a loss-making and incompetant set-up like Lewes.
They also got very angry at us singing 'Where's Your Criminal?' (same tune) as they have bought a serial criminal and jail-bird for the team. Again, this is unacceptable, apparantly, and Lewes fans would never stoop to insulting visiting players.
Maybe Lewes would be better off leaving football altogether, and instead become an indoor bowls club or, better yet, a syncronised swim team. They are no bloody use at football, and the passions of the game seem to be to much for the poor little dears to bare. Something less exciting, less interesting and less passionate than football may be right up their street - just a sec, that seems to be what Lewes FC are doing now anyway!
Bored now, will return soon with the New Year's Day Massacre of Lewes report, more reasons to laugh at Lewes, reports on Castle Village, and other meandering thoughts as received.
Anyway, back to the matters in hand. While I have been away there have been many and varied reasons to laugh at Lewes, and I've taken advantage of them all!
Boxing Day - Lewes visit Eastbourne Borough, claiming to be full of hope due to their improvement in form. Now, this improvement is a relative thing, translated it means they have managed to steal a couple of points from teams that are doomed to relegation, and have beaten clubs from lower divisions in cup matches. So how did their confidence pan out? They were fortunate in meeting a Borough side that played like they were badly hung-over and really didn't want to be there. The best that can be said about Borough was that they looked, for large periods of the game, like a Ryman League South team,and not a very good one at that.
Fortunately, the new, improved Lewes looked like a pub second-choice Sunday league side, and the game ended up 1-0 to Eastbourne. That goal is really all that is worth talking about in a really dire game. that and the fact that Lewes decided that, one down in a local derby against a very, very poor Eastbourne side, they would use the brilliant tactics of pulling every single player back, waste time whenever possible, and use four players as cebtral defenders, a couple of defensive wing backs, and everyone else run around like headless chickens trying to chase the ball, and keep behind it.
This was a game that Eastbourne did not deserve to win, quite frankly; however, Lewes were so bad that they certainly deserved to lose - in fact, from about the third minute of the game, it looked inevitable.
The only other thing of note to emerge from the game was the Lewes' fans reaction after the game was over. They were complaining, as per normal and as their old guru Steve King taught them so well, that they were the better team, they had been robbed, it was all the referee's fault and so on, but even funnier, how they would not allow the kind of people who follow Eastbourne into the Bed Pan on New Year's Day for the return fixture. It seems the population of Eastbourne is too rough for the poor sweet souls of lewes. Why?
Well, they think that it was 'unfair' and 'unacceptable' that Boro fans sang 'Aministration! Administration!' at them, and 'Where's Your Money Gone?' (to the tune of 'Last Night I Heard My Momma Singing A Song'). Well, Lewes ARE going into administration, after five years of out-spending everyone in the Blue Square South and getting very little return for a massive investment (Lewes call this 'brilliant management') - this season the club has been forced to stop spending wildly, or face the personal bankruptcy of their directors. And nobody else is willing to invest in a loss-making and incompetant set-up like Lewes.
They also got very angry at us singing 'Where's Your Criminal?' (same tune) as they have bought a serial criminal and jail-bird for the team. Again, this is unacceptable, apparantly, and Lewes fans would never stoop to insulting visiting players.
Maybe Lewes would be better off leaving football altogether, and instead become an indoor bowls club or, better yet, a syncronised swim team. They are no bloody use at football, and the passions of the game seem to be to much for the poor little dears to bare. Something less exciting, less interesting and less passionate than football may be right up their street - just a sec, that seems to be what Lewes FC are doing now anyway!
Bored now, will return soon with the New Year's Day Massacre of Lewes report, more reasons to laugh at Lewes, reports on Castle Village, and other meandering thoughts as received.
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