This blog is intended to combine three wonderful things:
1) my personal, sometimes peculiar, always individual, meandering thoughts;
2) to promote and showcase the achievements of Castle Village FC in the world of Hattrick (don't know what it is? Check out the links section, when I get round to doing it);
3) laughing, very loudly and very often, at Lewes FC, playing - if you can call it that - in the Blue Square Premier. For those in the know, I am indeed an Eastbourne Borough fan and, for my sins, volunteer steward.
The priority given to these three objectives will vary over time, depending on my mood, the phase of the moon, amount of trapped wind, and lack of sleep (amongst many, many other things).
Much happy reading!
Monday, 31 December 2012
Sunday, 1 March 2009
Castle Village news
We entered the English series VI.207 full of the knowledge that we were there to make up the numbers - probably the 6th or 7th number, either being relegated or surviving by the skin of our teeth.
Not gone quite as the form book would suggest. Castle Village has the lowest wage bill in the series; the lowest squad TSI in the eries; the lowest player average TSI in the series; the lowest squad worth in the series; the lowest star rating in the series; the lowest Alltid rating in the series; the lowest HatStat rating in the series; and the lowest LoddarStat rating in the series. And the lowest amount of money in the bak in the series. Not good omens for the season? Today marks the completion of the first third of the season. We play in a little less than an hour. At the omemnt we are top, yes, that is correct, TOP of the series with three wins from four games, and a +4 GD. We also have the best defensive record in the series.
How has this come about? The club gives all credit due to the players, but also to the tactical genius of club coach, Nick van Kempen.
Will we still be top after today's fixture? Watch this space!
Not gone quite as the form book would suggest. Castle Village has the lowest wage bill in the series; the lowest squad TSI in the eries; the lowest player average TSI in the series; the lowest squad worth in the series; the lowest star rating in the series; the lowest Alltid rating in the series; the lowest HatStat rating in the series; and the lowest LoddarStat rating in the series. And the lowest amount of money in the bak in the series. Not good omens for the season? Today marks the completion of the first third of the season. We play in a little less than an hour. At the omemnt we are top, yes, that is correct, TOP of the series with three wins from four games, and a +4 GD. We also have the best defensive record in the series.
How has this come about? The club gives all credit due to the players, but also to the tactical genius of club coach, Nick van Kempen.
Will we still be top after today's fixture? Watch this space!
Been awhile
But much merriment at Lewes, something you can always rely on.
Not scored at home since November, no wins this year in the league at all, knocked out of every single cup they have gone in for, each time by a lower league team, this list goes on.
Now it seems that they are saving money by not paying for the portaloo people to empty the toilets! Yep, Lewes don't have any toilets at their ground, so portaloos it is, and disgustingly full portaloos at that!
But it gets better. The manager is so unpopular that it seems that he is now reduced to giving free tickets to friends and family of players and his good self, and they have started going round the ground threatening anyone who shouts for the manager's resignation (about 50% of the crowd; the other half have given up in despair).
Better yet. Lewes, playing (for want of a better word) in the highest non-league division in England, play at home to the team in second place. What occurs (yes, Lewes lost, but that is a given)? A bumper sell-out crowd tthat boosts the club's coffers and saves them from bankruptcy? Nothing of the sort. 345 attend - including away fans and, presumably, the manager's own goon squad of freebie hangers-on. Yes, that is right. 345. Somewhere close to zero. And with Eastbourne Boro playing away, that gate was possibly artificialy inflated with several casual fans who won't be back anytime soon.
Lewes? You couldn't make it up!
Not scored at home since November, no wins this year in the league at all, knocked out of every single cup they have gone in for, each time by a lower league team, this list goes on.
Now it seems that they are saving money by not paying for the portaloo people to empty the toilets! Yep, Lewes don't have any toilets at their ground, so portaloos it is, and disgustingly full portaloos at that!
But it gets better. The manager is so unpopular that it seems that he is now reduced to giving free tickets to friends and family of players and his good self, and they have started going round the ground threatening anyone who shouts for the manager's resignation (about 50% of the crowd; the other half have given up in despair).
Better yet. Lewes, playing (for want of a better word) in the highest non-league division in England, play at home to the team in second place. What occurs (yes, Lewes lost, but that is a given)? A bumper sell-out crowd tthat boosts the club's coffers and saves them from bankruptcy? Nothing of the sort. 345 attend - including away fans and, presumably, the manager's own goon squad of freebie hangers-on. Yes, that is right. 345. Somewhere close to zero. And with Eastbourne Boro playing away, that gate was possibly artificialy inflated with several casual fans who won't be back anytime soon.
Lewes? You couldn't make it up!
Tuesday, 27 January 2009
BLOODY BANKS! BLOODY BROWN!
Only a few weeks ago, the UK's Chief of Pathetic Quick Fixes (AKA The Prime Minister) told us that we, the tax payer, had got an amazingly good deal that would make us ooodles of cash for years to come, by the fact that he, Brown, had given the banks £60 BILLION of OUR money to help them out. But, being so wonderfully clever as he is, he had forced the banks to accept the money with many conditions, the main ones being that the money was guaranteed to make a profit in the future for the tax-payer, and that the banks wouldn't really take the money anyway, seeing as how they are such nice guys and the international banking system is so benevolent.
A few days ago he told us how he was dealing with an escalating international crises (none of it his fault, of course) by giving the banks ANOTHER £200 BILLION of OUR money.
It seems that the first payment wasn't enough and has already been lost. That's the money that they were not really going to take, remember?
But the new give-away has had a few extra clauses added to it. The main ones being (in the interests of International Trade, by which they mean bailing out the banks and their hangers-on) that the 'onerous' clauses of the first give-away have been removed. So now the banks don't have to repay the money, what they do re-pay is at considerably lower interest rates, the government loses even its notional control over what the banks do with the money, and all pretense that they won't simply put it into their own vaults has been removed.
Way to go Gordon! The economy is safe in your sane hands!
A few days ago he told us how he was dealing with an escalating international crises (none of it his fault, of course) by giving the banks ANOTHER £200 BILLION of OUR money.
It seems that the first payment wasn't enough and has already been lost. That's the money that they were not really going to take, remember?
But the new give-away has had a few extra clauses added to it. The main ones being (in the interests of International Trade, by which they mean bailing out the banks and their hangers-on) that the 'onerous' clauses of the first give-away have been removed. So now the banks don't have to repay the money, what they do re-pay is at considerably lower interest rates, the government loses even its notional control over what the banks do with the money, and all pretense that they won't simply put it into their own vaults has been removed.
Way to go Gordon! The economy is safe in your sane hands!
MORE LEWES HUMOUR
More laughs at the expense of poor old Lewes.
Beaten by Mansfield (and a nice little winning bet on the visitors for Yours Truly), and, even better, getting dumped out of the FA Trophy non Blue Square South non-achievers Havant & Waterlooville. How long since a Lewes win in anything, anywhere? Not even sure it is in living memory...
With any luck, another defeat for the shame of Sussex, as Torquay will, no doubt, return with all three points from tonight's match.
Borough, meanwhile, chalk up another win, 2-1 at home to York City this time, to lift themselves into 11th place and the faint whiff of the play-offs can now be smelt.
Beaten by Mansfield (and a nice little winning bet on the visitors for Yours Truly), and, even better, getting dumped out of the FA Trophy non Blue Square South non-achievers Havant & Waterlooville. How long since a Lewes win in anything, anywhere? Not even sure it is in living memory...
With any luck, another defeat for the shame of Sussex, as Torquay will, no doubt, return with all three points from tonight's match.
Borough, meanwhile, chalk up another win, 2-1 at home to York City this time, to lift themselves into 11th place and the faint whiff of the play-offs can now be smelt.
Tuesday, 20 January 2009
GOD BLESS PRINCE HARRY!
Well, I'm nopt a royalist by any means, but I do feel compelled to support Prince Harry, who has suddenly become the Guardian-reading classes number one hate figure this week. Why? Because, several years ago, he called a fellow officer 'our Paki', a person he was friends with and used the description in a joking, friendly way. Exactly the same as referring to a friend as being a 'fat friend', 'skinny friend', even a 'trekkie friend' if you are so desperate for friends that you'll even consider a Star Trek fan as a possible candidate.
But the word 'paki' makes this a cause celebre amongst the Islington set. Everyone must, they feel, love every Muslim, gay and ethnic minority, regardless of anything they may do, or else they are considered to be goose-stepping their way to the the death camps with a smile on their faces.
Prince Harry has now been classed as either evil (a racist) or an idiot (for using the 'P' word).
In fact, he is neither of these things. He has, out of choice and conviction, worked voluntarily for third world charities, spending a lot of time in Africa. His father is a closet Muslim, near as makes no odds - certainly a quite pathetic liberal trendy aged hippy, and his son has most of his cultural values.
What Harry is is a normal(ish) person, as close to normal as a royal can get. He likes a laugh and makes comments without working out if it is possible, no matter how unlikely, that someone can twist it into a potential insult to somebody, somewhere - unless you're insulting white, able-bodied, heterosexual Christians, in which case it is perfectly ok to do so.
Ian Smith was evil because he ran a multi-cultural country, Rhodesia, with whites mainly in charge. All people were protected under the law, and the country was a great success, despite a decade-long embargo on most essential imports.
Robert Mugabe was a hero, because he was black. Now he is considered a fool, but we must continue to trade with him, and any insult to him must be avoided. Afterall, he's only ruined the country, practised genocide against the whites, broken every law and so forth. Maybe he desrerves a slap on the wrists, but nothing more.
The same can be said in South Africa, of De Klerk and Mandela - but nobody can insult Mandela, the Man-God, despite his rule destroying South Africa, leading to a total break-down of law & order, poverty, corruption, trade with terrorists and wide-scale slaughter of whites, especially in rural areas. Several thousand have been butchered in racist attacks, with not even a word of sympathy.
The Islington set, sitting in their five-million-pound homes and making sure that they never, never, mention the fact that their cleaners and gardeners are all ethnic minority representatives (unless to boast about how wonderful and cosmopolitan they are), are the true evil racists, even though they probably can't see it through the cannabis haze of the latest soiree they have attended.
Want the UK to be a more united country? Stop pussy-footing around these liberal PC tyrants and tell more racist jokes - most the best ones I've heard have been from blacks and, yes, Pakis. Laugh at people, let them laugh at us, don't be terrified of offending someone, as, no matter what you say, you will offend somebody, somewhere.
But the word 'paki' makes this a cause celebre amongst the Islington set. Everyone must, they feel, love every Muslim, gay and ethnic minority, regardless of anything they may do, or else they are considered to be goose-stepping their way to the the death camps with a smile on their faces.
Prince Harry has now been classed as either evil (a racist) or an idiot (for using the 'P' word).
In fact, he is neither of these things. He has, out of choice and conviction, worked voluntarily for third world charities, spending a lot of time in Africa. His father is a closet Muslim, near as makes no odds - certainly a quite pathetic liberal trendy aged hippy, and his son has most of his cultural values.
What Harry is is a normal(ish) person, as close to normal as a royal can get. He likes a laugh and makes comments without working out if it is possible, no matter how unlikely, that someone can twist it into a potential insult to somebody, somewhere - unless you're insulting white, able-bodied, heterosexual Christians, in which case it is perfectly ok to do so.
Ian Smith was evil because he ran a multi-cultural country, Rhodesia, with whites mainly in charge. All people were protected under the law, and the country was a great success, despite a decade-long embargo on most essential imports.
Robert Mugabe was a hero, because he was black. Now he is considered a fool, but we must continue to trade with him, and any insult to him must be avoided. Afterall, he's only ruined the country, practised genocide against the whites, broken every law and so forth. Maybe he desrerves a slap on the wrists, but nothing more.
The same can be said in South Africa, of De Klerk and Mandela - but nobody can insult Mandela, the Man-God, despite his rule destroying South Africa, leading to a total break-down of law & order, poverty, corruption, trade with terrorists and wide-scale slaughter of whites, especially in rural areas. Several thousand have been butchered in racist attacks, with not even a word of sympathy.
The Islington set, sitting in their five-million-pound homes and making sure that they never, never, mention the fact that their cleaners and gardeners are all ethnic minority representatives (unless to boast about how wonderful and cosmopolitan they are), are the true evil racists, even though they probably can't see it through the cannabis haze of the latest soiree they have attended.
Want the UK to be a more united country? Stop pussy-footing around these liberal PC tyrants and tell more racist jokes - most the best ones I've heard have been from blacks and, yes, Pakis. Laugh at people, let them laugh at us, don't be terrified of offending someone, as, no matter what you say, you will offend somebody, somewhere.
BETS FOR TODAY
I've joined the Hattrick Betting Federation, and been putting my tips up there - three tips, three wins, so far!
But today Hattrick is down as the server is some sort of depressed drunken Scandinavian, so I'll put them here, just so that I know they have been put somewhere!
DAGENHAM & REDBRIDGE to beat Exeter (20/21 with ExtraBet, 10/11 most others)
OXFORD to beat Forest Green (4/6 with most bookies - I've gone with Bet365)
Peterboro v MK Dons - over 2.5 goals (7/10 with Bet365)
Happy betting!
But today Hattrick is down as the server is some sort of depressed drunken Scandinavian, so I'll put them here, just so that I know they have been put somewhere!
DAGENHAM & REDBRIDGE to beat Exeter (20/21 with ExtraBet, 10/11 most others)
OXFORD to beat Forest Green (4/6 with most bookies - I've gone with Bet365)
Peterboro v MK Dons - over 2.5 goals (7/10 with Bet365)
Happy betting!
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