Been awhile

But much merriment at Lewes, something you can always rely on.

Not scored at home since November, no wins this year in the league at all, knocked out of every single cup they have gone in for, each time by a lower league team, this list goes on.

Now it seems that they are saving money by not paying for the portaloo people to empty the toilets! Yep, Lewes don't have any toilets at their ground, so portaloos it is, and disgustingly full portaloos at that!

But it gets better. The manager is so unpopular that it seems that he is now reduced to giving free tickets to friends and family of players and his good self, and they have started going round the ground threatening anyone who shouts for the manager's resignation (about 50% of the crowd; the other half have given up in despair).

Better yet. Lewes, playing (for want of a better word) in the highest non-league division in England, play at home to the team in second place. What occurs (yes, Lewes lost, but that is a given)? A bumper sell-out crowd tthat boosts the club's coffers and saves them from bankruptcy? Nothing of the sort. 345 attend - including away fans and, presumably, the manager's own goon squad of freebie hangers-on. Yes, that is right. 345. Somewhere close to zero. And with Eastbourne Boro playing away, that gate was possibly artificialy inflated with several casual fans who won't be back anytime soon.

Lewes? You couldn't make it up!